Hey y'all! My name is Amanda, I'm 22 and live in Charlottesville, Virginia. I am an professional photographer and student at UVA. I frequent coffee shops, craft stores, and bookstores. If you want to know anything, just ask!
Had the pleasure of shooting this wedding last weekend. It was a beautiful day and I had so much fun.
The Front Bottoms - Mountain(x)
(via l0st-and-afraid)swear to me
Writings for Winter
In June of this year, I was raped. The act was committed by someone I cared deeply about and assumed cared about me.
When something like this happens, your entire life is turned upside down. You become an entirely different person. You get scared of the littlest things: being around people, being in small spaces, being in the dark. Movies you would normally enjoy become triggering; classes are a struggle and even getting out of bed seems like the hardest thing in the world.
You lose trust in absolutely everybody. No matter how close they are to you. Because if someone you loved with all your heart, and who said they loved you in return, could violate both your body and your trust, sense of self, everything, then how can you trust anybody else?
You lose your entire sense of self. You start thinking it was your fault.
I have gone through that moment over and over again, trying to think of ways I could have changed the outcome, things I could have done differently that would have made him stop when I said no, when I expressed no both physically and verbally.
I have spent hours blaming myself, weeks and months blaming myself, months thinking I deserved it.
And I still have to go to school with this person. I still have to interact with this person. I am still in one of the same classes as this person.
They have shown no remorse, they have in many ways blamed me for what they did to me.
Since June, I have been to the hospital several times, I have lost all interest in life and have begun eating only a single meal a day. I have had to start taking antidepressants and going to therapy once a week.
Yet I still have to go to college with this person. They have been physically and verbally aggressive with me ever since that night. I am scared they will rape other people.
I want to be the person I used to be before the rape. I am not my rape. But I am not the person I would be if it were not for what he did to me.
I am not my rape. This should not be my weight to carry. This should be his to carry until the last day of his life.
Not mine. Not yours. Not anyone else’s but his.
It was not your fault. If you were raped, it is not your fault. It never is. You are not to blame. You did nothing wrong. You have every right to take action, no matter what the perpetrator says, no matter how they try to coerce you or abuse you into backing off.
It is not your weight to carry.
Pretty much stares at me while driving always.
(via southernoptimism)find momo
the sun won't set if we keep heading west
HOW DO PEOPLE FALL ASLEEP SO FAST I DON’T UNDERSTAND I HAVE TO CREATE AND ACT OUT A WHOLE FUCKING MOVIE LENGTH STORY IN MY HEAD AND THEN CONTEMPLATE THE MEANING OF LIFE BEFORE I EVEN FEEL TIRED AND THIS BITCH STARTS SNORING IN TWO MINUTES
The Ghost With The Most Babe
Did you know that Monet wished that he could be blind. Similarly, Picasso said that painting was a blind man’s profession, because blind people have a clearer vision of reality.
So what is it about the blind that make artists from all around a tad bit jealous?
Scientists looked at famous painter Esref Armagon, a man blind from birth. His art hangs in museums all around the world. He can draw landscapes and scenery with precision. This is his art:
Armagon went to a lab to have his brain scanned as he drew freehand. He was given objects to feel such as a toy or a cup and asked to draw them.
What scientists found was amazing. His brain scan resembled a sighted person’s brain scan.
Although his no visual light reflected of his eyes and entered swept through his visual cortex, his visual cortex was buzzing with activity.
What was going on is that his visual cortex was recruited by other senses such as touch and hearing. Armagon was successfully able to translate touch into images in his mind.
SOURCE: The Body Has A Mind of Its Own by Sandra & Matthew Blakeslee
It's all happening
Biggest plot twist in history.
It’s taboo to admit that you’re lonely. You can make jokes about it, of course. You can tell people that you spend most of your time with Netflix or that you haven’t left the house today and you might not even go outside tomorrow. Ha ha, funny. But rarely do you ever tell people about the true depths of your loneliness, about how you feel more and more alienated from your friends each passing day and you’re not sure how to fix it. It seems like everyone is just better at living than you are.
A part of you knew this was going to happen. Growing up, you just had this feeling that you wouldn’t transition well to adult life, that you’d fall right through the cracks. And look at you now. La di da, it’s happening.
Your mother, your father, your grandparents: they all look at you like you’re some prized jewel and they tell you over and over again just how lucky you are to be young and have your whole life ahead of you. “Getting old ain’t for sissies,” your father tells you wearily.
You wish they’d stop saying these things to you because all it does is fill you with guilt and panic. All it does is remind you of how much you’re not taking advantage of your youth.
You want to kiss all kinds of different people, you want to wake up in a stranger’s bed maybe once or twice just to see if it feels good to feel nothing, you want to have a group of friends that feels like a tribe, a bonafide family. You want to go from one place to the next constantly and have your weekends feel like one long epic day. You want to dance to stupid music in your stupid room and have a nice job that doesn’t get in the way of living your life too much. You want to be less scared, less anxious, and more willing. Because if you’re closed off now, you can only imagine what you’ll be like later.
Every day you vow to change some aspect of your life and every day you fail. At this point, you’re starting to question your own power as a human being. As of right now, your fears have you beat. They’re the ones that are holding your twenties hostage.
Stop thinking that everyone is having more sex than you, that everyone has more friends than you, that everyone out is having more fun than you. Not because it’s not true (it might be!) but because that kind of thinking leaves you frozen. You’ve already spent enough time feeling like you’re stuck, like you’re watching your life fall through you like a fast dissolve and you’re unable to hold on to anything.
I don’t know if you ever get better. I don’t know if a person can just wake up one day and decide to be an active participant in their life. I’d like to think so. I’d like to think that people get better each and every day but that’s not really true. People get worse and it’s their stories that end up getting forgotten because we can’t stand an unhappy ending. The sick have to get better. Our normalcy depends upon it.
You have to value yourself. You have to want great things for your life. This sort of shit doesn’t happen overnight but it can and will happen if you want it.
Do you want it bad enough? Does the fear of being filled with regret in your thirties trump your fear of living today?
We shall see.You’re Not Making The Most Of Your 20s, Ryan O’Connell (via paintdeath)i'm not fucking blushing
He will be the death of me. Ugh
Settling in for an afternoon of editing.